Inevitable End

i remember the faces of those who showed up at the masjid
the hugs i received and the endless "be strong"s i heard
overwhelmed by their very presence
i thought i was alone, God proved otherwise
time will heal, they told me
that with each passing day, i'd miss her a little less than before
truth is, the emptiness in my heart cannot be filled
with all that i've seeked ever since

the only consolation i had then was that she is now relieved of agony
one i couldn't bear seeing her go through day after day
ever so patient, even when she was only skin and bones
i'd keep the tears for the night, after i tuck her in bed
i prayed for her inevitable end to come sooner
for i could not bring myself to see her suffer anymore

liyanaalmahdaly 22nd march 2016

Long Way To Go ....

For the past months I found that I'm unable to express myself through words. The journal that I keep in the bookshelf next to the bed is left blank as if there's nothing worth writing in it. Every time something happens instead of expressing it through writing like I used to, I tend to ignore my feelings and find something to distract me from penning down my thoughts. 

Is this some quarter life crisis thing or what? Someone enlighten me please !

I've been thinking about life, reflecting on my past actions, over analysing things, people watching wherever I go and searching for answers to the questions that I've had in my head forever. Waira says I need to stop over thinking and over analysing tiny details in my life before I go haywire but I can't help it! When you put two introverts together the over thinking and over analysing can go really overboard! (That's a lot of overs in a sentence.) I shall stop this rant and write when I next feel like it.

"U.F.O."

Lord I don't know which way I am going
Which way the river gonna flow
It just seems that upstream, I keep rowing
Still got such a long way to go
Still got such a long way to go

Then that light, it's your eye
I know, I swear,
We'll find somewhere the streets are paved with gold
Bullets fly, split the sky
But that's all right, sometimes, sunlight comes streaming through the holes

Oooohhh ooooohh...