Love Someone - Jason Mraz

When Mraz released this song on his Facebook page a month ago, I fell deeply in love with it. That's one more song to add to my future wedding playlist I thought. I can imagine walking hand in hand with my husband, this song in the background, smiling faces, slightly teary eyed, family and friends by my side. A girl can always dream of her wedding day, kan? So just let me daydream kejap k. And..... my future husband better be a fan of Jason Mraz, kalau tak potong markah chehhh hahahaha

Kemi is Back!

Kemi is our 5 month old British short hair kitten given to us as a gift by Ami Mad & Ende Izam for my father's birthday last month. I actually declined the gift in the beginning because I wasn't sure if Dad would like the idea of having a cat at home. I think Ende knew I had a weakness for cute little kittens so she sent me photos of Kemi and I couldn't say no. If you're wondering why I was the one who declined the gift, well, I had a surprise birthday party for my Dad so he didn't know about it at all and I had to 'tipu sunat' by saying Ende wanted to give me the kitten and had to show Kemi's photos to him and he gave the green light, so it wasn't actually a surprise lah, just that he thought the kitten was for me and not him. 

I'm so blessed and grateful to be surrounded by people who are generous and nice to me and my family. As I said in my previous post, maybe He took my mother away only to replace it with better things and good people who would accompany me on my journey towards recovery. 

I just came back from my vacation to Sydney, Australia. Before leaving, I left Kemi with my cousin who stays nearby. As he was at work when we arrived home, I had to wait for him to be home to pick Kemi up. Kemi is back and I've missed her terribly during the 10 days I was away. Hello there you beautiful Kemi <3 

A Fresh New Start

A fresh new start, just what I needed. I decided to delete my first blog that I started way back in 2007. There are times in life when we just decide to move on and not live in the past anymore (or at least try to). 

In early 2013, I suffered a huge heartbreak when I lost my mother. I was a few months short of my 21st birthday, still searching for who I wanted to be, still needed my mother's guidance on how to face the harsh reality of this world we're living in and basically not ready to say goodbye to the biggest influence in my life : my iron lady. The days and months after her demise were draggy, dull, filled with tears and at times like a fast forwarded video tape. There are days when I wake up and tell myself that I must make the most out of today and then there are days when I feel like I am not strong enough to move on, I end up being quite emo, but I never shared it with anyone. I just kept telling myself that one day I'll get over this and things will be okay. I try not to remember that period of time because it was the darkest days of my life. I wouldn't say I immediately turned to Allah for help but I did try to understand the 'hikmah' behind all that was happening. I began to slowly accept that He took her away only to give me an even more valuable gift. 

Alhamdulilah, I am blessed with good girl friends who always check whether I'm okay. Suhaila, Nadia, Airina, my best friends from secondary school. They never fail to lend me an ear if I ever needed someone to talk to. My cousins, Shahnaz and Shamini who would also check up on me from time to time. Other relatives and family friends who would call up to see if I'm coping well, who would send a Whatsapp message to cheer up my day, you know who you are, I'm forever grateful for your support. Maybe this was what Allah wanted to show me, that even if I didn't have a mother, I had these amazing people who really cared for me, who would go that extra mile just to check on me. 

I believe that I'm way better emotionally and spiritually today (1.5 years after her passing) but I'm still on that journey to recovery. I always pray for His guidance for myself and my family, for us to be protected from any harm, for us to be guided to the straight path and for us to be better Muslims as the day passes insya Allah. As the month of Ramadhan approaches in a few days, I would like to take this opportunity to seek forgiveness from any of you if I have unintentionally hurt you through my words or actions. May this month of Ramadhan be better than the previous years. 

With this post written, I feel lighter, I feel like I've said what I've kept in my heart for a long time.  Always remember that Allah loves us and that He knows what is best for us, His timing is never wrong, have faith in Him.

3,2,1, Showtime !

And so Taylor Swift sounds amazing live .... 

"Long live the walls we crashed through

How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered"